By Ashley K. Randall for The Magis FoundationATTACHMENT
Humans are a social species with inborn propensities to affiliate with others. The attachment system serves such affiliation goals by motivating seeking and bonding activities with significant others, particularly under times of stress. Early experiences with significant others, and particularly the primary caregiver, are thought to shape how individuals act in relationships and respond to relationship cues.
Types of Attachment in Children
1. Securely attached children: characterized as having stable and positive emotional bonds and were observed as being upset when their mother left, but they were quick to greet her upon her return.
2. Insecurely attached infants: characterized as having an anxious emotional bond. Although the infants exhibited considerable distress when the mother left the room, they seemed to be minimally comforted by her return. The dual pattern of high levels of separation distress along with relatively little comfort in reunion is thought to reflect a hyperactivated attachment system that simply cannot be easily assuaged regardless of the behaviors of the caregiver.
3. Nonattached infants: appeared to be relatively indifferent to separation and reunion with the caregiver. Indeed, their behavior suggested a lack of emotional reaction – either anxiety-related or comfort-related – in relation to the caregiver.
The same types of attachment styles found in children have been conceptualized to explain adult romantic relationships. For example, anxiously attached individuals reported that they needed consistent reassurance from their romantic partners, whereas avoidantly-attached individuals reported that they sought some distance from their romantic partners.
Types of Attachment in Adults
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| For more information: http://internal.psychology.illinois.edu/~rcfraley/attachment.htm |
Working Models of Attachment
Attachment styles are associated with distinct, almost unconscious processes, defined in terms of working models. The activation of working models is thought to guide social information processing, emotional reactions to interpersonal threats and rewards, and (ultimately) behavior throughout one’s lifetime. The working models help create a ‘map’ of how not only one views themselves (in terms of relationships), but how they view others.
(1) Secure: emphasize the worth of self and other and relationships (e.g., “I like
intimacy”).
(2) Anxiously-attached: emphasize the uncertainty of reinforcement from others (e.g., “I like, but fear, intimacy”).
(3) Avoidantly-attached: emphasize fear of commitment (e.g., “I fear others”).
How do internal working models affect my everyday life (Collins, 1996)?
Internal working models of attachment affect the intensity an individual’s experience of relationship related threats. Relationship related threats, such as the possibility of the partner developing a romantic interest in another person, may yield feelings of jealousy, and this may in turn lead to some type of behavioral response (e.g. checking their facebook page, asking who they talked to during the day, wanting to know where they were, etc.)
Research
Mikulincer (1997) has shown that secure individuals seem to be open to new information, particularly in relation to close relationships. Secure individuals also seem to be more confident in dealing with possible threats to their relationships. Anxiously-ambivalent individuals seem to be open to new information, but are not confident in dealing with possible threats to their relationships. Finally, avoidantly-attached individuals seem to adopt an avoidant mode of dealing with social information by displaying intolerance of ambiguity.
JEALOUSY
Early experiences with significant others—particularly with the primary caregiver—are thought to shape the dynamics of the attachment system and in turn are thought to be responsible for interpreting things such as jealousy. It is a powerful and painful emotion that can have detrimental effects on romantic relationships.
Attachment and Jealousy
Feelings of jealousy are a result of a real or imagined threat to the relationship. Attachment and jealousy are similar in three ways, (1) both function to maintain close relationships, (2) are triggered by threats to one’s relationships which elicit feelings of fear, anger and sadness, and (3) are governed by mental models of close relationships.
Jealousy can happen in 2 forms:
1. Cognitive: arises from a partner’s worries and doubts regarding imagined situations
where their partner is going to leave them.
2. Emotional: occurs in reaction to cognitive appraise on the situation and can elicit
feeling such as anger, blame, fear, and insecurity.
Research
Anxious-ambivalent individuals are more likely to experience jealousy as compared to secure or avoidant individuals. Specifically, avoidant individuals were more likely to express anger and less likely to dwell on the threatening situations. Conversely, anxious-ambivalent individuals were more likely to dwell on their feelings of sadness and fear and resisted expressing anger. Secure individuals were more likely express their anger but did so in a way to preserve their relationship.
Implications
Research suggests there is a link between jealousy, attachment, and relationship related behaviors. Linked to unstable emotions, insecure attachments may lead to negative relationship behavior such as stalking and violence through contempt, belligerence, and domineering. The unconscious process of attachment (internal working models) may be a good source of explaining jealousy and related relationship behavior.
REFERENCES
Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1967). Infancy in Uganda: Infant care and the growth of love..
Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press
Babcock, J. C., Jacobson, N. S., Gottman, J. M., & Yerington, T. P. (2000). Attachment,
emotional regulation, and the function of marital violence: Differences between secure, preoccupied, and dismissing violent and nonviolent husbands. Journal of Family Violence, 15, 391–409.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Clinical applications of attachment theory, London:
Routledge.
Collins, N.L. (1996). Working Models of Attachment: Implications for Explanation,
Emotion and Behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71(4), 810-832.
Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. R. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.
Mikulincer, M. (1997). Adult attachment style and information processing: Individual
differences in curiosity and cognitive closure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72, 1217–1230.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2003). The attachment behavioral system in adulthood:
Activation, psychodynamics, and interpersonal processes. In M. P. Zanna (Ed.), Advances in Experimental Social Psychology (Vol. 35, pp. 53-152). New York: Academic Press.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2005). Attachment theory and emotions in close relationships:
Exploring the attachment-related dynamics of emotional reactions to relational events. Personal Relationships, 12, 149-168.
Sharpsteen, D. J., & Kirkpatrick, L. A. (1997). Romantic jealousy and adult romantic attachment.
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72, 627-640.,
At The Magis Foundation she is the Couple's Corner Program Director and also an Executive Board member.
©2011 The Magis Foundation
